why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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