I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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