Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You dont lie about slip and slides
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
