so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
