You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize