Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
