WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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