She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
