I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
