i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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