i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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