i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
where are my eyebrows?
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