1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
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Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
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He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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