are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
