I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
We talked him into tasing himself.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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