I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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