I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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