I wish my penis had an off switch
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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