your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
