we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
