It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
