Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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