I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
