just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
