Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Oh god it's open bar.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
