I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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