Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
