It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
the liver wants what the liver wants
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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