you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize