Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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