oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
