I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
He melted the stem
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers