I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.