Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
