I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
