So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
