you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
