Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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