Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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