Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(647): View more from Ontario

Your tits are I can't wait for

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(253): View more from Washington

Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.

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(773): View more from Illinois

Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A

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(909): View more from California

Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...

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(204): View more from Manitoba

Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently

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(708): View more from Illinois

He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck

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(501): View more from Arkansas

PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD

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