nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
