...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
