Christians are straight up FREAKS
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize