i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
