can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I want her autograph on my taint
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
