he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
