My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
