sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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