I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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