you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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