those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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