Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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