She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
