I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
