We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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