lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
