I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
