why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
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But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
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He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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