My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
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I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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