I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
