I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
