So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
